After The Rebellion
by EmKathleen13
Summary: The rebellion has been over for several years. Katniss and Peeta are now married, expecting life to be better for them and their 2 kids. But Katniss still has nightmares now and then and there are people she hasn't seen in 20 years. What will she do when everything and everyone begins to remind her of the horrors of her past once more?
1. Prologue

_**Thanks, this is my second fanfiction that I've put on this site, so I hope you like 's in Katniss's POV. It's basically about Katniss and Peeta after the rebellion, after the Capitol and President Snow fell, etc, basically with them and their 2 kids at the end of Mockingjay. The Epilogue wasn't so descriptive, so I've decided to add on to and stuff. Thanks! Please read and review and suggest stuff, I hope you like it**_

When we learned she was a she, we started thinking of names. Peeta and I wanted to continue Mother's way of naming her kids after flowers like she had with my dear, dead sister, Primrose, and my own name, Katniss. Haymitch, when he was sober enough, actually pitched in to help with the planning.

Mother would call me every so often to check up on me. Even Plutarch and Dr. Aurelius called once in a while. Effie would call, too, and she was ever so excited for me and Peeta.

Gale didn't call once, I kept reminding myself of how he didn't come back to 12 for me, how he stayed in 2 with some fancy job, probably kissing someone else's lips.

Oh well. I was happy. Whenever I was even slightly upset, I'd look at my wedding ring given to me from Peeta, my husband, the soon-to-be-father of my lovely baby girl.

It made me smile.

We had a fine time picking names, rejecting names, and commenting. Greasy Sae and her granddaughter would sit down with Me, Peeta, and occasionally Haymitch, in the kitchen during breakfast almost each day and we'd discuss plans, names, etc. It was actually quite fun.

Anyhow, today wasn't much different. Peeta sat down next to me, smiling and saying his "Good Morning"s to Greasy Sae and her granddaughter. Today was one of those odd days where Haymitch was actually sober and entered my door to sit down. It'd been several years of my refusal to get pregnant, but Peeta wanted a child so bad, so now, 10 years after the end of the rebellion, this is where I am. Happy. I know that there are no more games and no more of what there was that can possibly hurt my child.

We all sat at the table.

"Basil isn't a good name, it means Hatred." Greasy Sae's granddaughter chimed when Haymitch mentioned the name. I laughed. "That's true. Basil may be crossed from the list." Peeta, too, laughed and nodded. Then he said, "Hm. How about Clove…oh, wait." He cringed and coughed. "Never mind." He said, probably remembering that Clove had been the name of the female tribute from 2 who had tried to kill us, with the help of the male tribute, Cato, several times. "Iris means message." Greasy Sae suggested. I tilted my head. "Hm. Pretty name…perhaps…" Peeta nodded. "That's a choice. Let's put that on our list next to Ivy and Olive." I smiled. Haymitch yawned. "How about Ivy. That one's nice." I looked at Peeta, who considered this. When he nodded, so did I. "Okay. Ivy." I said. "Now a middle name."

"Raine." Greasy Sae's granddaughter suggested. Pretty name. "Perhaps." Peeta said. "Or Rae." He added. I smiled. "I like Rae. Ivy Rae Mellark."

"Pretty name." Greasy Sae said. "I like it. Nice choice."

And when Ivy did come, she was beautiful, with dark hair and blue eyes, her skin not too pale but not exactly as mine was, sort of a mix between the lovely pale of Peeta's skin and the olive-skinned me. She was beautiful. Our Ivy. And she love us so much, and as she grew she became very smart, very gifted. I taught her to use the bow, Peeta taught her to paint, but what she really loved was to sing and to dance. She sang 'In the Meadow', the very song I sang to Rue as she lay dying several years before in an arena that now exists only in nightmares. And when she turned 6, all she wanted was a baby brother or sister, and this time I wasn't afraid to give in, for Peeta, too, wanted one more. We did what we did before when we found that the new one would be a him. We all, including a 6 year old, excited, little Ivy, with her dark hair and beautiful blue eyes, sat at the table to discuss names.

Many names were suggested, some of which were ruled out for sounding too much like a female name. The list was soon narrowed down to 5 names. Flax, meaning domesticity. Fern, meaning fascination. Heath, meaning solitude. Ash, meaning greatness. Laurel, meaning glory. Eventually, Peeta and I settle, with Ivy's help, with Ash Lee Mellark. He was so wonderful when he came, blonde curls and grey eyes, with his chubby legs.

We love him and his sister so much. 9 year old Ivy adores him and she dances across the meadow as he toddles on his chubby, 3 year old, toddler legs, trying to keep up with her. I know that Ivy already has begun to learn of the Games in her 3rd grade class. She's learned that they were horrible, terrifying, and nightmarish. She doesn't ask of them, for she's learned we played a part in them. Neither of them asks about their father when he clutches on to his chair as the nightmarish flashbacks pass. These nightmares and flashbacks happen rarely now, though they still come. It's hard, yes, but even though I wish so badly to tell my children of the Games that I fought so hard to end, I know it would be too hard to tell them without bringing too many questions, perhaps even nightmares. But Peeta and I have that book, the one we eventually put together after the rebellion, and our attic, which is rarely entered, has boxes of things we held dear, things that help us remember those dark days, things, also, that are full of bittersweet memories of Finnick, Cinna, Prim, Rue, and Wiress. There are things we have that hold memories of even those still alive yet painful to talk to or see, such as Beetee, Johanna, Mother, Gale, Plutarch, Gale's family, Annie, Effie, my prep team…

I sometimes wish I could visit them, but how could I see mother without mourning even more for a lost Prim and my far-long-gone Father? How could I see Gale without crying that he left me, getting furious that it was his and Beetee's own bomb structure that killed my little sister? How could I see Beetee for that matter? How could I see Johanna without remembering her torture, Peeta's torture? How could I see Plutarch without him wanting me on camera, in a propo, or something else? How could I see Gale's family without crying for them, the loss of Prim, how Gale left me…How could I se Annie without being able to see Finnick who she's married so soon before he died. How could I see Effie or my prep team without remembering the Games? Heck, I see Peeta and Haymitch every day and even the sight of them will once in a while trigger flashbacks and nightmares.

But even still I know someday my children will learn. They know not that they play on a graveyard. They know not that I didn't want them at first. They don't know that I wake every morning terrified from a nightmare, terrified of waking to see President Snow killing me, or terrified that I may smell that odor of his roses ever again. Terrified I'll wake and be in the arena once again, hiding, injured, scared. But no. I wake to see Peeta beside me, my kids at the kitchen table, a nice home.


	2. Long Unseen Friends

But today is May 13th. Today is Ivy's 10th birthday. Little 3 year old Ash is upset, though, that it is not _his _birthday, but he has to wait until July 5th, unfortunately. Ivy comforts him. She wanted a party so bad, but not with friends, with friends of family, and family, so Peeta and I have invited Haymitch, Greasy Sae, Greasy Sae's granddaughter, and, even though it pains me and Peeta, we've also invited Mother, Annie, Beetee, Plutarch, Effie, Octavia, Flavius, Venia, Gale, Gale's Mother and 2 brothers, Rory and Vick, and 1 sister, Posy, and also we've invited Johanna,. We are unsure how many of them will show up, but no matter. Secretly, I hope none of them show. I sighed.

Peeta is decorating Ivy's cake with frosting ivy, yellow primroses, purple katniss flowers, pretty yellow rue flowers, and green leaves. I am wearing something I've come to rarely wear anymore. My mockingjay pin. I am wearing my hair in my usual braid down my back, I am wearing my wedding ring on my left hand, ring finger, as usual, and I am wearing a gown that was sent to me shortly after the rebellion. It had been made by Cinna himself, and he had requested it be sent, apparently, when the rebellion was over. It was a beautiful black gown with long sleeves. I went to my ankles and had a wide neck. My sleeves hung off my wrists a bit and when I twirled it would wave out. It was wonderful. Cinna's outfits were always wonderfully perfect. Peeta wore a nice black long sleeved shirt with a v-neck and black pants. He didn't wear much else though, except a pair of tennis shoes, which didn't bother me. I didn't wear shoes. I was happier to wear only the dress, because it looked more mysterious and beautiful when I was bare footed.

Haymitch came, of course, for he was my children's grandfather, almost. We'd forced him to stay sober for so long that it was only occasionally that he picked up a bottle. He'd gotten over his lack of alcohol. Good, too. I didn't want my kids being around a drunken man. Greasy Sae came with her granddaughter. They didn't wear anything special, though, because it didn't really matter. Our kids saw them constantly; they were like family to them, and to us.

When the time came, I was actually surprised. A knock on my door signaled that some people were actually going to show up.

Ivy is so excited, as is little Ash. They can't wait to see those even Peeta and I have not seen for so long. I open the door to see Annie standing there. She looks as paranoid as ever, but she had dared to come all the way from 4 to see us. I smile. I give her a huge hug, trying not to cry, and welcome her inside. She smiles. "Katniss, Peeta, Haymitch, how are you?" She asks in her usual small voice. We all smile and say "Good, Annie." Ivy runs into the room with her brother toddling behind her. "Hiiii!" she says, smiling largely. Annie takes a step back, startled, but smiles. "You must be Ivy…and he must me Ash." She smiles again. Then I remember. "Oh, you have a son, right Annie? He must be 20 or so now, right?"

"Yes." Annie says. "He has a nice fishing job. And a nice girlfriend. Wishes he could have come, but work kept him away." She looks at me and I nod. "Okay." I say. Haymitch and Greasy Sae and Greasy Sae's granddaughter are busy hanging decorations. Another knock on the door. I hold my breath and Peeta holds my hand. "I'll come with you." He says. He knows that this sudden reunion with Annie has made me nervous and was hard to get through. I nod and he walks with me, so close that our shoulders touch. We clutch each other's hands tight and Ivy picks up Ash on her back and follows us, giving Ash a piggy back ride which makes him giggle and say, "Ivy!" because he's surprised. His little toddler voice is so cute.

This time Peeta opens the door. It's Johanna and Gale's family, little Rory and Vick and Posy who aren't little any longer and all have jobs couldn't come. Hazel smiles and so does Johanna. I bite my lip. "Hi guys." I say. They say hi as well and tell me Beetee couldn't come because he's busy. It's odd, the last time I saw them, I was a small 17 year old girl. Now, after about 20 years, I'm…what…37? It seems old, but I don't feel old. Actually, I don't look old either. I still am that thin, olive skinned, dark haired, grey eyed, scarred girl I was. I've only grown an inch and I'm definitely not getting any taller. Peeta still looks like himself, too. He and I almost haven't changed. Even Haymitch, who is 20 years older than he was 20 years ago, still seems like he's the same griping old man he was before, except without the alcohol. But whatever. We are reunited with Hazel and Johanna and we give hugs, hellos, smiles, and Ivy and Ash give big kisses and hugs to them.

Another knock. This time it's Effie and my old prep team. They see me in Cinna's dress and burst into tears (all except Effie, who just says I look gorgeous). I force a smile and force myself not to cry with them. I give all of them biiiig hugs and let them in. "Plutarch couldn't come." Effie informed me. I nodded a thank you. We did the same thing as we did before, with the big hugs from everyone, and the oohs and awes over Ash and Ivy. Ash kept giggling and trying to say people's names. He called Effie "FeFe", which made us all laugh. He called Venia "V," which wasn't so bad. He called Octavia "Octopus" which made even her laugh. He called Flavius "Flavvy" Which was cute. Johanna was called "Joey" and he actually got Annie's name correct. So now he had nicknames for about all of the guests who were there so far. I was close to relief that Mother and Gale hadn't shown up yet, but now there is another knock at the door.

Peeta knew right away that those 2 were the only ones not here yet.

I don't want to answer the door. Peeta gives my shoulder a squeeze and goes to open the door by himself. I hear Mother's voice say, "Oh, Peeta! How are you?" and Peeta say, "I'm great." Then I hear Gale say, "Hello, Peeta," and I'm guessing they shake hands. Then Peeta says, "Please, come in."

In my mind I wish he'd said, "Go away," or "Sorry, you're late." Or something, but I shake that cruel thought out of my head. I decide to just face my fear. I sigh again. Ivy comes up to me. She's wearing a pretty blue dress that used to be Prim's. Her hair is in 2 braids and each is tied with a blue ribbon. She has Ash on her back. His curls hang in his face a little bit and his blue eyes are sparkling. He is wearing a little black t-shirt and blue jeans. He looks adorable. He's like a mini-me of Peeta. I give each of them a kiss on their forehead and I pick up Ash so he's not on Ivy's back anymore. Ivy gives me a big hug. Everyone else is talking in groups of two or three excitedly about what they got for Ivy.

That's when Gale and Mother walk in behind Peeta. Peeta finds me and smiles. He knows I'm nervous, so he comes to me and says, "Hey, Katniss." He'd never gotten into the habit of calling me babe or baby or Hun or honey. I'm glad. He puts a hand on my waist and kisses me softly on the lips for a few seconds with both our eyes closed. I hear Ivy giggle and say, "ewww" and Ash, in my arms, is totally not paying attention because he's too busy playing with my hair. Peeta lets go and smiles. I smile back. Mother and Gale are approaching now and when they are in front of me, they say, "Hi, Katniss." In nervous, anxious, yet noticeably happy tones. I know Mom is nervous and happy, though, to see me. But I can see that Gale is both happy, regretful, nervous, and worries…and sorrowful. I force a smile, still holding Ash with one arm and holding Peeta's and with my other. Ash and Ivy look at my mom and my best friend. "Ivy, this is my friend, Gale, and your grandmother." Ivy's smile widens and she hugs Mother. "Grandma!" she yells happily. Ash looks at Gale and says his name, getting it right. Then he looks at Mother and says, "Gramma?" she nods. He giggles.

I'm dreading this night already as Gale's eyes watch me hold Peeta's hand and stroke Ash's hair.


	3. Birthday Dinner, Birthday Cake

Gale smiles slightly at me and says, "It's nice to see you after so long." I am still so mad at him for everything. Everything. I don't say much to him, I only smile and nod and say, "It is." It's all I can do not to burst out and say, "I can't believe you left me alone, to rot in my own head, with no one. It took me forever to open up again to those around me. You didn't even contact me. Why? I hate you! You're probably just jealous of Peeta for having me, and now I have 2 wonderful kids, and you choose NOW, 20 years later, to come? To Ivy's 10th birthday? You're such a…" I sighed to myself and stopped my inner ranting. But it's true, I cant believe he didn't even call. He didn't even do anything. He left me. Alone. At first. But then I opened up, and who was there for me? Who was there to comfort me, to hold me in his arms to guard me from the nightmares? Peeta. My lover. My husband. The father of my kids. He was there. Not Gale. I guess Peeta can tell that it is now getting awkward and uncomfortable for me, because he smiles and looks around the room. "Who wants to eat?" He asks loudly so every guest may hear him. Everyone sits at the tables (We had brought in another table and put it together with the current one so everyone could fit).

I sit by Ivy, who is in between me and Peeta, and I have little Ash on my lap. Haymitch sits on the other side of me. Greasy Sae sits on the other side of Peeta, and her granddaughter sits beside her. Gale sits across the table from me, and his mother sits on his right. Mother sits beside Gale's mom, Hazel. Annie sits beside Mother. Effie sits beside Annie and my prep team sits by Gale in order of Octavia, then Venia, then Flavius, and Johanna sits beside Flavius. Good. We all fit. That's good. Greasy Sae stands up and gets the food; she'd made a wonderful meal out of a few rabbits I'd hunted down a few days ago, some edible plants, and delicious, fresh bread Peeta had made. It was a good meal. Ivy had chosen to have it because she loved the taste of rabbit. She loved rabbit and plants in stew and her father's fresh bread, buttered and warm, to dunk in the stew. Everyone agreed that it was a wonderful meal.

Especially mother. She's always made this kind of thing, without the bread, for me and Prim when we were little…

Prim…

How I wished that she was here now. For her to see Ivy and Ash… oh, she'd love them. I stifled a little sigh of sadness and I held back the threatening tears.

Peeta notices this and Ivy gladly switches spots with him. "Okay, daddy." Ivy says, not caring that she has to get up to switch spots with her father. When Peeta is beside me, he picks up little Ash, who has a bread roll in his hand and is sucking on it, in his arms so he's off my lap. Then he asks quietly, "Katniss, you okay?" Haymitch looks at me. He is close, sitting beside me, so he heard Peeta's question. He's sober, of course. He knows something's upsetting me. "Kid, you need to leave the room to catch your breath or something?" He asks in a whisper, putting his hand on my shoulder. I shake my head slightly. No one is paying any attention, they're all busy talking excitedly of the meal, what they got Ivy, how cute Ash and Ivy were, how happy they were for me and Peeta…

Peeta handed Ash to Haymitch, who held the boy close and didn't take his eyes off me. Ash always called Haymitch "Papa", me "Mommy", Peeta "Daddy", Greasy Sae "Sae", Ivy just "Ivy", or "Sissy" and Greasy Sae's granddaughter "Sissy", so it didn't surprise me when I heard him giggle a bit and say "Papa, Papa" as he took the bread out of his mouth and cuddled Haymitch. Who knew Haymitch could be so loveable for a small child? Peeta put his hand in mine and I looked up at him. He nodded, as if he could read my thoughts of sadness and wishes, and said, "I know you're upset. I know you've missed everyone here, I know it's hard, I know you miss everyone who's not here, everyone who should be here, everyone who's gone…but," He was still whispering, but in the gentlest tone anyone could speak in. "We'll get through this." I smiled a bit and he gave me a quick kiss. Through the corner of my eye, I could make out Gale watching me intently, as if longing to have me for himself, to say how he wanted to be forgiven.

I ignored him.

Peeta turned to everyone else and said, "Who wants cake?" as he lifted a grinning Ivy onto his lap. "Me!" Ivy said. "Me!" Ash copied, giggling, crawling back onto my lap. Haymitch stood up, wiped some toddler slobber off his shirt, and went to the over where he took the cake out. He set it in front of me and Peeta. It was beautifully decorated. I knew, not only because I'd watched him do it but because I just knew, that this was Peeta's work; wonderfully frosted rue flowers, katniss flowers, primroses, ivy…He'd also written in beautiful, cursive writing, in purple frosting, 'Happy Birthday, Ivy!" and had circled 10 candles he'd gotten from the Capitol around the edge of the cake. Haymitch took a lighter out of his pants pocket and lit each candle carefully. I smiled, now happy because of seeing Peeta's work, at Ivy. "Make a wish, honey." I said in a soft tone. She nodded. "Ash should help." She insisted. Ash looked up. "I wanna make a wish, Mommy!" He said. Peeta chuckled. "Go one then." It made the whole room of people laugh a bit. I sat Ash beside the cake on the table. Effie and my prep team are smiling big, wide grins as my 2 kids take big breaths. "0ne…" Peeta says, not being able to contain his smile. "Two….Blow!" Both kids blew the candles out. Mother looked at Ivy and said, "So, what's your wish?" Before Ivy can answer, Ash giggles. "Not telling ya, it won't come true then!" Ivy grinned and nodded. I couldn't help but smile. I looked around at the guests. Everyone was smiling as Haymitch cut the cake and Greasy Sae got plates and they handed out pieces. We all let Ash stay on the table, while Ivy returned to her own chair. Ash shoved his hand in his piece of cake and took a handful of cake to put in his mouth.

Before long, everyone was laughing at Ash's way of eating his cake. He had it all over his hands and face. Peeta rolled his eyes and I said, "Oh my goodness, I just gave you a bath earlier today! Uuuuugh." Peeta grinned and looked at me. "Don't worry, I'll bathe him this time, Katniss," he said, giving me a quick kiss. I smiled. Everyone was so happy. Ivy was going on and on about how she couldn't wait to see her presents. Everyone was talking continuously. Except Gale. He was watching me with those grey eyes I used to go to for help.

Oh well.

I smiled up at Peeta and then looked at my kids. I am so happy to have them. I'm so glad to have Peeta, Greasy Sae, he granddaughter, and even Haymitch, to wake up to every morning. I don't think I'd ever ask for more.


	4. Presents

We all decided, since Ivy couldn't wait any longer, that it was time to open presents.

I hadn't noticed the presents when people walked in, I guess it's because they were hidden in their coats…or something. Perhaps I was just not paying much attention to whether or not they were holding anything. But everyone had set their gifts off to the side of the kitchen on the floor.

Ivy sat on the floor beside the pile and we all gathered around. Ash toddled over to her and sat beside her. He wanted to help.

I smile. Peeta decides to let Ash choose Ivy's first present. He does. He picks one that is in a little box wrapped with purple paper. On it, it says, "To Ivy. From Octavia." In pink letters. Octavia grins. "Oh, I hope you love it, I really do!" She says. Ivy is excited. She opens the box and looks inside. It is a necklace with a black chain and a purple stone of some sort, kind of like a crystal. It's very pretty. "What's the stone?" Ivy asks Octavia. Octavia smiles. "Amethyst." She says. Ivy moves to a new present, this time it is from Flavius. "Venia and I worked together to find a gift, and we had these made. I cant wait for you to open it!" Flavius exclaimed excitedly. Ivy opened it, eager to peer inside the little white box. It was a cloth bracelet, purple, decorated with sewn in flowers and IVY in silver lettering on it. Ivy, intrigued, slipped the bracelet on her wrist and reached out for the other little box. Inside it was another cloth bracelet, this time decorated with intricate vines. On it was MELLARK spelled out in silver lettering. Ivy slipped it on her other wrist, happy as can be.

"Open mine next, Ivy." Annie said, pointing to a present. It wasn't too big, but it wasn't too small either. Ivy grinned. "Okay!" she exclaimed, picking up the bundle. When she opened it, she squealed. It was a purple teddy bear with a white belly. On the white belly there was lettering. It said 'HAPPY 9TH' in gold letters. Ivy squeezed the toy happily. "Thank you, thank you!" she said, laughing excitedly. Next she picks up one that says "To Little Ivy, Love Hazel", so it is from Gale's mother. Hazel gives Ivy a smile as Ivy unwraps the rectangular present. Inside is a booklet made of deer skin. Ivy's name is sewn into the cover. Inside are many, many blank pages. On the side there is a buckle to close it. It's a diary, or perhaps a journal. Ivy's face lights up as she feels the material. "Deer skin!" she says, recognizing the feel of it. Hazel nods.

Now it's time for another present. It's Mother's. Ivy opens it and inside is a picture in a thin black frame. The picture shows a young girl, about 6 years old, with blond hair pulled back in a braid. She is wearing a blue dress. She has blue eyes and fine skin. There is another girl, maybe 10 years old. She has olive skin and grey eyes and dark hair pulled back in two braids. She is wearing hunting clothes and is standing beside a man. The man is also wearing hunting clothes. He has dark hair, grey eyes, and olive skin. He is standing beside the blond haired girl, too, who is in front of a woman. The woman has blond hair, blue eyes, and fair skin. They are all smiling.

It's me. It's Prim. It's Mother. It's Father. Ivy figures this out, but she knows not who father or Prim are. She only sees the resemblance of me and Mother. She holds the picture delicately and turns it over. On the back, it says, "Katniss Everdeen- 10 years old. Prim Everdeen- 6 years old. Mr. and Mrs. Everdeen." Ivy holds it close as Ash peers over her shoulder at it. Ash, of course, has no idea who those people are. Our last name isn't Everdeen anymore, it is Mellark. But Ivy understands. She sets it down gently and reaches out for another gift. Everyone is watching closely, smiling.

This one is from Johanna. Ivy unwraps it, revealing a dress. It is grey and short sleeved. Ivy loves it. She opens Greasy Sae's and he granddaughter's, revealing another dress. This one is yellow. It's a spring dress, so it's short. She loves this one, too.

Present after present is opened. From me and Peeta, she gets a new bow and some arrows. From Ash, she gets a 3 year old's drawing of her, Haymitch, Greasy Sae, himself, me, and Peeta. From Gale, she gets a picture of himself, me, Prim, and Mother when I was 14. From Haymitch, she gets a photo album. Some pictures are already in it, such as me and Peeta on our wedding day, me and Peeta during the first interview after we won our first Games, me with Ivy as a baby, Haymitch, me, and Peeta before the Quell, me and Cinna, me and Gale, me and Prim, me and Mother, and me and Ivy and Peeta holding Ash as a baby. The rest of the many picture slots are empty. Now all that's left is Effie's gift.

Effie had gotten permission from Peeta, Haymitch, and I to give the contents of her present to Ivy.

We'd made sure Ivy was going to open it last. Now she is quite eager to open it. She reaches for it and picks it up. When she opens it, she peers in and pulls something out. It's a book. It is titled "The 75th Hunger Games, the most memorable ever." Peeta and I know that inside it contains information on each tribute for the first Games we were in, and the Quell we were in. It has if they were killed, who killed them, pictures of them, their district, their age, their name, etc. It would have Rue, Finnick, Mags, Cato, Clove, Thresh, Me, Peeta, Johanna, and so many others in it, no matter if they died, if they are now dead, or if they lived and are living, like me and Peeta.

Now she pulls out another book. This one is titled "The Rebellion's Mockingjay." I knew, Peeta knew, Everyone in the room except Ivy and Ash knew, what happened during this time. We all know, except my kids, who the rebellion's Mockingjay had been. Me. It will tell of me, the rebellion, the Capitol and Snow's fall, how I killed Coin, how I was charged not guilty, all the tragedies… now Ivy pulls out a case, and in that case is a video. On the case, it has things listed.

_75__th__ Hunger Games_

_3__rd__ Quarter Quell_

_Mockingjay Propos_

_The Star-Crossed Lovers_

_Memorable Pictures and Memorable Moments_

_The Mockingjay_

This video contained all six of these things. No doubt, Ivy would want to watch it later. I won't let Ash watch it until he's older, though. I don't even know if I can sit through it. Ivy, who knows only that he parents, Peeta and I, had played a part in the Games and that it was horrible, knows nothing of the star-crossed lovers bit, how I was the Mockingjay, etc. But she soon will know, I guess. Everyone understands and is looking at me now. I am staring at the floor. I feel Peeta's hand holding mine now, I feel Gale's eyes watching me closely, I feel everyone's gazes on me, but I don't look up. Ivy gets up and walks to me. She understands there is something of my past I have not been telling her or Ash all these years, that there are terrible tragedies in Peeta's past as well as my own, that there are reasons for those nightmares, those flashbacks…She hugs me after some silence. Everyone is quiet. "I love you, Mommy." She says, smiling. Ash doesn't understand, but her giggles and toddles over and hugs Ivy's leg. "I love yooouu!" He coos. Peeta smiles softly and looks at me. "It's okay." He says after our kids let go of me. Everyone watches, most with sad expressions, remembering. Peeta wraps his arms around me as Ivy picks up the two books and the video. I stifle a sigh and Peeta gives me a kiss that lasts for a couple seconds, before letting me go. I look at everyone and they smile.

"Thank you for coming." I say. They all nod. "How long are each of you staying?" Peeta asks. We know, of course, Haymitch, Greasy Sae, and Greasy Sae's granddaughter are staying. Everyone has to go, except Gale and Mother and Effie and my prep team. Mother is staying a few nights here, Gale is staying the night, and Effie and my prep team want to stay a few more hours before they all must go. I smile.


	5. Memories On The Screen

We all play games, talk, smile, and laugh at how Ash pronounces my prep team's names for the next few hours, until Effie, Flavius, Venia, and Octavia must go. Ash is a bit upset that his Fefe, Flavvy, V, and Octopus must go, but he gets big hugs and big goodbye kisses from them all and we comfort him.

When those four are gone, we say goodbye to Greasy Sae and her granddaughter. They are going home for the night. Now it is just Me, Ash, Ivy, Peeta, Haymitch, Mother, and Gale. I tell Haymitch he may go home to rest if he wishes to, but he refuses. He claims it is only because he is too lazy to walk next door, but I know that he truly just wants to stay and watch me, because he is concerned since Mother and Gale are staying. Haymitch isn't all bad.

Ivy decides she now wants to watch the video Effie had given her. She looks at me and I tell her she may. I look at Haymitch and as him to take little Ash to Greasy Sae's. He nods, picks up Ash, who is giggling "Papa, Papa!" over and over, and leaves as he says, "I'll be right back."

Now we all, not waiting for Haymitch, travel to the living room. Ivy puts in the video and picks up the remote. Gale sits in an armchair, resting his arms on the arm rests, looking tensed. Mother sits in a rocking chair where I sit every night to rock little Ash to sleep, or to tell Ivy a story, or to sing to myself or to Peeta. Peeta and I sit on the couch and Ivy snuggles up beside me. I lay my head on Peeta's shoulder, and I can tell he is as nervous as I am right now.

Haymitch comes back and Ivy springs up from her spot so he may sit down. After he is settled beside me, with his hand on my shoulder gently, Ivy climbs up onto his lap and points the remote at the TV, turning it on.

We see the menu. It shows a picture of my Mockingjay pin, along with some little clips from propos and such that are playing along the side; me throwing my arms into the air, Gale and I running with our bows, Peeta and I kissing quickly, me singing to Rue as she dies, Effie calling Prim's name and me volunteering, President Snow, Cinna, Haymitch falling off the stage at the reaping, and the look on my face after Peeta announced he loved me during his very first interview with Caesar. Then the cycle starts over.

At the bottom of the screen, there are several options to click on.

_The 75__th__ Hunger Games_

_The 3__rd__ Quarter Quell_

_Mockingjay Propos_

_The Star-Crossed Lovers_

_Memorable Pictures and Memorable Moments_

_The Mockingjay_

I tell Ivy she can choose whichever she wants. She clicks on _Memorable Pictures and Memorable Moments. _Another screen appears that shows the Capitol's old seal with an anti sign around it. There are two choices in the middle of the screen.

_Pictures_

_Moments_

Ivy clicks on _Moments. _Now another screen appears, this time with pictures that have titles you can click on to watch a video. One is a picture of Effie at district 12.

It says, "Katniss Everdeen Volunteers" beside it. Another is of me and Peeta wearing Cinna and Portia's wonderful flaming outfits. It says, "The Girl and The Boy on Fire." beside it.

Another has Peeta during his first interview. It says, "Peeta Mellark's confession." beside it.

Another is of me beside a dying Rue. It says, "Katniss's song." beside it. And another after another, picture after picture, word after word.

One of me and Peeta kissing says "They're first kiss." One of me with Peeta by the river says, "Saving Peeta."

One with me and Peeta beside each other says, "The berries." One with me and Peeta, dressed in yellow, on stage, kissing, says, "Reunited."

One, noticeable from the Quell, shows Peeta near death and me crying over him. It says, "Finnick to the rescue." One shows me on the beach, during the Quell, with Peeta, holding the pearl in my hand. It says, "His pearl."

More and more are shone. One of me in my Mockingjay suit, holding my hands out, in district 8, says, "Fire is Catching!"

The are so many more, such as a picture of me in my transformed dress, the one that had smokes and transformed into the resemblance of a Mockingjay in front of everybody, on TV, in the Capitol. Cinna's work. It says, "Cinna has made her a Mockingjay after all."

Ivy finally clicks one. She chooses to click the reaping one, where I volunteered for Primrose. I give a fait smile as the clip starts. It shows Prim being called.

"Primrose Everdeen." Effie had said. It shows me yelling, "Nooo! I volunteer!" and yelling Prim's name. It shows Gale prying Prim away from me. Ivy can see who is who. She knows I am the volunteering girl. She knows Gale is the boy who pried Prim away. She now knows who Prim is. She recognizes everyone, even Effie.

Now we watch the one titled, "Peeta Mellark's confession." Ivy is openmouthed by the end, surprised by how I had come to know of her father's love for me. We now watch, "Their first kiss." For once, Ivy does not say, "Ew!" when she sees us kiss, even on screen, even when I was but 16 years old, she does not get disgusted. She thinks it's rather sweet.

But now we're going to watch "Katniss's song."

We watch it. We see everything beginning from when I call out Rue's name, hear the Mockingjay's singing her four note tune, and then hear Rue's screams. It ends as I leave Rue's dead body, covered in flowers, behind without looking back. We watch me sing to her, we watch me cry for her. We watch Rue die. We watch me walk away, angry, no, furious, at the Capitol, determined to win, and still half deaf from that earlier explosion. By the end of that clip, I am crying. I cannot breath. Haymitch and Peeta are the first to notice. Haymitch looks at me, Ivy pauses the film, Gale and Mother stand up slowly, Peeta wipes my eyes. I begin to cough and I squint my eyes shut. I know what is coming. Flashbacks. Of course. I still have them, not often though, and this makes it worse. I remember everyone who'd died because of the rebellion, because of the Capitol. Because of the Mockingjay.

Because of Me.

I remember Cinna, Prim, and Rue. Thresh, Boggs, Finnick, Mags, Wiress... I can hear Peeta say solemnly, "Flashbacks." And I know he's nervous, too, but not as nervous as I am, for I just witnessed and relived Rue's death for a third time. I open my eyes, and I say, "I… I'll be back. I'm going to go get a hold of myself…" I get up. "Go back to the video." I say. I leave the room and before I know it I'm in the attic, door locked, on the floor beside all those boxes, and sobbing.


	6. Take a Breath and Remember

"Katniss." I hear Peeta's voice come from behind the attic door. I guess he followed me, but I shut the door too fast and he couldn't come in, because it's now locked. I don't answer. "Katniss, please." He repeats himself. I don't answer. I just turn over onto my stomach and bury my face in my hands. "Katniss, seriously, please open up." His voice is full of concern, and I can tell he's been holding back tears. I still remain silent, trying not to continue sobbing. But he finally gets the door open. I guess he found the key. He shuts the door and locks it, walking over to me. He kneels down beside me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Katniss…" He hesitates, and I turn over onto my back so we can see each other's faces. He smiles only slightly and pulls me into a sitting position and then into an embrace. "Peeta…I…I'm sorry…"

"No," he says. He holds on to me tight, as if he cannot bear to let me go. I wrap my arms around him in return and bury my face in his shoulder. Then he continues, "Nothing is your fault. No one, not even Ivy, blames you for what you did down there, just now…No one. Ivy decided to watch the actual Games…the ones we were first in. but insisted that I follow her Mommy so she knew he Mommy is okay." He smiles. So do I, but I still feel terrible.

"Peeta…did you…"

"Yes…I felt horrible, watching it all…but with you beside me, I knew what we did lead to this. I'm not happy about my past, but, yet, at the same time I'm proud." He pulls away from me and holds me by my shoulders, looking into my eyes. "Because I have you, Katniss. And that's all I need; you, Ivy, Ash, even Haymitch. I love you all." He laughs. "Even Haymitch." Now he kisses my forehead. "But I love you, and have loved you since I was 5. You are the one person I've ever loved, the one person I've ever kissed; you are my wife, my children's mother, and my friend. Even when I was hijacked, deep in my mind I knew I needed you. But almost every time I saw you, because of what Snow did, I had a humungous urge to…to…"

"I…I know…." I say, interrupting him, not able to bear to hear any more of this. But he continues. "I wanted to kill you. To choke you to death with my bare hands. To let you die. I believed you'd done terrible things to my life. But you hadn't, and deep inside me I knew that I knew that, but I needed to overcome the hijacked me. And eventually, I did. And here we are." He leans in close and places a quick, soft kiss on my lips. "But I always knew, no matter what other girls were in my life, that I needed you. And our experiences have helped us become what we both needed. Because of the Games, we have each other. We have Ash, we have Ivy….hell, we have Haymitch."

"But, if it hadn't happened, we'd still have…"

"Don't you understand?" He looks at me, straight in the eyes, and brushes some hair out of my face with his hand. I do understand.

I do.

Yet he continues, again. "If it weren't for the Games, we wouldn't have Cinna or Effie. Or Fin nick, Johanna, Annie, Boggs, Wiress, Beetee, Rue, Thresh…or so many more people. "Even though most the people in that list are lost, including Prim, we had them anyway, and that's what mattered. And we still have those who're not lost. But we wouldn't have them, or each other, or our children, if it weren't for the Games." I nod. I know he's right.

I guess he sees tears welling up in my eyes, because, to keep them from spilling over, he leans further in and presses his lips against mine, causing me to close my eyes. He wraps his arms around me. He pulls away from me and I open my eyes. He looks into my eyes; our lips are still so close. He says, "Katniss…I…" But I press my lips back against his again, and he sighs in his throat. I pull away and say, "I love you, Peeta. You're absolutely right…" He smiles and nods. We look around at our surroundings, now. We are surrounded by stacked up boxes that are labeled with names. One says "The Capitol", one says "Precious Memories" one says "Tributes", one says "Family", one says "Friends", one says "Lost", one says "The Games", one says "The Quell", one says "The Rebellion" and one says "Mockingjay". I sigh and walk over to the nearest, the one which is labeled "Precious Memories". I open it. Peeta watches me and I look inside, sitting on my knees. Inside are a few small items; the pearl given to me by Peeta. My Mockingjay arrows. The spile from the Quell. A primrose flower from the bushes out front. A drawing of Rue, drawn by Peeta. My Father's old hunting jacket and the parachute from the Quell. I sigh and run my fingers gingerly along every item, stopping at the pearl. I pick it up and show it to Peeta. Smiling slightly, I say, "Peeta… remember? I kept this with me almost always while you were gone. While you were hijacked. At night when I thought of needing to rescue you, I'd rub this slowly on my lips over and over, and it somewhat calmed me. It gave me hope."

Peeta smiles sadly at this and comes over to me. "Katniss, I wish all the time that I hadn't been hijacked, and that I could have even more pleasant memories than the ones I have of wanting to kill you." I shake my head. "I know, I do, too. But…well, do you think we should get back downstairs?" Peeta nods slightly and takes my hand—the one that holds the pearl—in his hand. "Let's makes a promise…never to regret anything else…" I nod, knowing what he means. We both smile. "I'll keep you away from the nightmares if you keep me from mine." He says. I smile again and give him a soft kiss that lasts a few seconds. When I pull gently away, he helps me stand up. I am still holding the pearl, so he brings my hand to his mouth and touches the pearl against his lips and says, "I love you, Katniss Mellark. Never, ever, forget that." Then he lets me slip the pearl into a pocket on my dress and I look up at him. "I love you, too." I say, and as he leans down and places a long, sweet kiss on my lips he wraps his arms around me. I close my eyes and let myself rest in his arms as he kisses my flashbacks from earlier away.

When he finally stops and looks into my eyes, he smiles softly back at me. We hold hands, as if we cannot bear to let go of each other. He leads me, out the door and this time we do not lock it, but he does keep the key in his pocket in case I make another runaway attempt to the attic.

We appear in the living room again, and I know without looking in a mirror that my eyes are red and puffy with tears, probably bloodshot. I know, also, that my hair is probably matted and my face is tearstained and I'm still sort of shaking. I see Gale and Mother look up at me and I notice that Ivy has decided not to finish watching the Games, because the TV is paused on a scene showing me and Peeta in the cave, me with a bandage on my head from the injury Clove inflicted on me, and Peeta kissing me. I look at the screen and blush because no one seems to care that the video is paused at exactly that point. The only person who looks even quite uncomfortable by it, besides me, is Gale. Of course. But everyone, even Haymitch, are looking at me. Ivy looks sad. Mother looks tired. Gale looks somewhat sad, but he is watching me and Peeta with eyes that show anger, sadness, and regret. Haymitch looks understanding. I take a breath and Ivy says, "Mommy, you're okay, right?" I nod. "I'm fine now, baby. You have nothing to worry about.


	7. How Could You?

Ivy only half believes me that I'm okay, so she decides to not un-pause the screen. But I still keep looking up at the screen, remembering those moments when all those kisses were stages. I'd only felt that thing of wanting more twice at that time; once in the cave, and once on that beach during the Quell. And now I feel that almost every time he kisses me. I feel sad looking up at that paused screen. Peeta still holds my hand, not letting go once. He is warm, and I don't want to let go of his hand anyway. Haymitch notices that I seem a bit tired, nervous, and perhaps upset to him, so he pulls me into the kitchen, leaving Ivy, Mother, Peeta, and Gale in the living room talking about Ash being a little mini-Peeta and Ivy being a little mini-me, and how odd it is that Ash actually looks up to _Haymitch _and that Haymitch actually stopped drinking.

"Katniss." Haymitch says quietly. "This is a serious question; are you okay? Be honest." I look up at him, feeling nervous, but I take a deep breath and tell him the truth. "No." I say. "I mean, yes, sorta…well, I just…"

"So it's a sort of, am I correct?"

"Yes…"

Haymitch shakes his head sadly and put his hand on my shoulder. "Katniss, trust me. I know how nightmares and flashbacks are. And I believe you had one of the hardest, most damaging acts in out past experiences, being the Mockingjay, being put under so much pressure. I see every day how you react to walking past the primrose bushes. I see every day I see your reactions when someone says the word 'Capitol' or the word 'Mockingjay'. I see how you react to the scent of roses, even if there is but one flower. I saw how you acted and are acting around Gale, and even your mother. I see how you hold onto Peeta like you will never let him go. You sing 'In the Meadow' to little Ash every night to help him sleep, and you cry as you sing, and he doesn't understand why. Once in a while I can hear you inside your room crying, or having nightmares, or I see you close your eyes as flashbacks come, or I hear you sing 'The Hanging Tree'. It's all in your every day actions. You've been damaged, and it will take forever to be fixed. You may never get fixed. Peeta and I have been damaged as well, but we both worry most about you. Katniss, you're an amazing mother, you're an amazing wife to Peeta, and, truthfully, you are like a daughter to myself and to Greasy Sae, too. We all worry about you."

I am silent for a while after he's finished his mini-speech thing. Then I finally say, almost inaudibly, "I know…" But Haymitch shakes his head again. "Katniss, you don't get it. I'm concerned. You look so broken, if only you could see yourself. I know most of the time you've known me, I've been drunk and rude or sober and controlling, but right now I'm truthfully worried for you. You just practically relived and watched, at the same time, several past experiences, and mainly Rue's death which was terrifying for you. And I've noticed Gale watching you. Katniss, he loves you, and I know you don't love him like he loves you. I know you feel bitter about it being his and Beetee's bombs." He doesn't say "That killed Prim" but he's implying it, I know. He continues. "But he misses you, I know. I think you should talk to him, with me close to you but unseen by him in case he tries anything…I really think you should speak more to your Mother, too. Yes, she's lost two family members and is angry and still distraught, but you are as well. You saw your sister's end. She did not. She loves you, Katniss. I promise you this…" He pauses, then says, "Now, don't speak of this talk from me to anybody," He grins and I can't hold back a small laugh. "Thank you." I say. Then I wrap my arms around him in a hug, which is something I haven't done many times in my life.

He doesn't hesitate to hug me back, but then he pushes me gently away and says, "Now get in there and talk to them. Get Gale to talk to you alone so you guys can work stuff out. I know you're mad at him, but it's alright. And don't worry; I'll be near, listening."

I take Haymitch's advice and reenter the living room. Peeta catches my eye and I smile slightly. He sees that I am heading towards Gale, and he nods, understanding. "I'll be back. Come on, Ivy, why don't we go get Ash and go look at your other presents, Hun?" Ivy nods and they leave. Mother understands and says, "I'm going to go with Peeta and Ivy. I want to see Ash." She gives a smile and leaves the room. I'm nervous, because now it's just me…and Gale. But I know Haymitch is nearby, watching, listening. I smile and stand in front of Gale. "Hi." I say. He nods and says, "Hello." I sigh. "I've missed you. How have you been?" That's when he starts talking. "Katniss, I've missed you so much, I…"

"If you missed me, why didn't you call?" I ask bitterly. "I mean, your job cant take up every second of your time, can it?" He gulps and takes a breath. "I wish I'd called…I wanted to call…Hell, I wanted to come back to 12—"

"Why didn't you then, Gale? Why?" He opens his mouth to speak, but I cant take it. I interrupt. "You left me by myself. The only way I mad it is having Peeta here, having Haymitch. They actually came back. You didn't. We were best friends, and you left me."

"Katniss…I love you, i…."

"And it doesn't matter!" I wave my left hand in front of him, showing him my silver wedding ring. "I'm married. I love _Peeta." _My voice becomes gentle and I put my hand back by my side. "I love you, Gale, but not like I love Peeta. To me you are like a brother, a best friend, you almost always have been, and I want it to stay like that."

"But—"

"Gale!" I sound exhausted. "There's no buts! I'm married, I love Peeta, I have 2 kids, you are my best friend, Haymitch is like a dad to me, and I've lost so many people in my life, I don't want to lose anyone else. Never again. I cant do this anymore, Gale. It's been 20 years and I still find myself running off to cry about losing a little 12 year old girl who was my ally, my friend, yet supposed to be my rival. I hate it. I've lost so many people, so has Peeta, so has Mother, and so has Haymitch, and so has Annie…Damn, Gale, the losses are so hard to count! I hate it so much! And here you are, after 20 year of me not seeing you, 20 years after you abandoned me, 20 years after _your bomb hit and killed my little sister, _you come back for a _birthday party_ so you can stare at me with cold eyes the entire time then come out and say you love me, even though I've known that, and I don't love you like that? It's absurd. You're insane." I can feel tears streaming out of my eyes. "Please, Katniss. Don't cry…" He reaches forward and wipes a tear from my face. His face is so close to mine, I'm getting way nervous. "Katniss, please, can I just…I've loved you for so long…"

I glare at him. "Yeah, it seems right after I met Peeta, you've loved me. How interesting." He looks hurt, but he says, "Actually, before that." I shake my head. "I know, but I don't love you like that. Don't you understand that?"

"But Katniss. I don't want it to have to be like this. I know you love me, you've said so before. But you chose Peeta. If you didn't have Ivy and Ash, would you even think of coming back with me?" My expression is cold and serious. "No." I say. But he's persistent. "Katniss…" He leans close and before I know it he has his hands gripping my shoulders and his lips are pressed against mine. I gasp and try to pull away, but it's useless. He just pulls me closer and I struggle more. He doesn't listen, it's as if he's blinded to everything but my lips and his. His kiss makes my body fill with a warmth that I know is terribly wrong, terribly bad. It shouldn't be happening.

I hear Haymitch's voice now and I feel Gale get pushed away from me. I fall to my butt on the floor, gasping. Haymitch yells at Gale. "You aren't ever welcome to do anything of that sort. She has said it is not to be, and you respect that. If you are that possessive and angry, then get out. Now. Leave." I look up and see Gale's expression, cold, angry, and desperate. "Katniss, why?" I stumble to my feet and stand beside Haymitch. Haymitch takes my hand, as if to protect me. I know he is trying his best. He's glaring intently at Gale, standing slightly in front of me. I say, "Gale! I hate you! If you were my friend, you'd respect my choices!"

That is the precise moment that Mother and Peeta venture back into the room, starting to say, "Ivy and Ash are—" but they hear what I say to Gale, see that I'm crying, see Haymitch, and see Gale's face. Peeta looks pissed. Mother looks confused. "What did you do, Gale?" Mother asks. I start answer before Gale can. "He…he kissed me, forceably." But I don't get past the "He…" because Haymitch answers. "Gale told Katniss here that he wanted her to love him like he loves her, and he forced himself upon her without her consent. I came, because I'd been watching by the way, Gale, and pushed him away." Mother looks at Gale in disbelief, but soon he expression goes to realization, to sadness, then to fury. "Gale! I thought you were better than that!"

"Get out." Peeta says as he approaches me, taking my hand. Gale turns to leave. As he begins to leave, he looks past his shoulder and says, "I guess I wont be like the man in 'The Hanging Tree' after all, huh Katniss. I have my answer. Goodbye." Haymitch says, "Don't ever come back unless you are invited by Katniss. Never call, only if she calls you or tells you to call." Gale leaves. I bite my lip and Mother comes over to me, hugging me. "I'm sorry…" She says. I shake my head, "Not your fault." I mutter, half upset and half pissed-off at Gale. Peeta looks at me sadly and says, "I shouldn't have left you alone."

"It's fine." I assure him, pulling him to me and giving him soft kiss on the lips that lasts several seconds before Haymitch rolls his eyes and says, "Why don't we go to Ash and Ivy now." I nod. "Okay," I agree.


	8. Singing and Tears

_**Hi! I really, really appreciate all the reviews I've been getting, and I hope everyone who's been reading has enjoyed every bit of it. Thank you. Anyway, I'm debating with myself what to do as I continue this fanfic, and it's getting hard for me to decide. Should I do this, Should I do that, should I end it, keep going, I keep asking myself questions. I'd love it if people could send me what they think, maybe a few ideas on how to keep it going, how I should end it, when I should end it, some more exciting things to happen, etc. Please keep reading and reviewing. Thanks a lot to all of you **_____

When we walk into the kitchen, Ivy is holding some pretty primrose flowers in one hand, and a vase full of water in the other, and is placing the flowers in the vase. Ash is on the floor sucking his thumb. Ivy is smiling. I look at the primroses with a sad expression, and Peeta stands closer to me. "Ivy, you done?" Ivy nods at her father and smiles at me. "Mommy…" She comes over to me after setting the flower-filled vase on the table, and whispers, "I was wondering if I could go watch the rest of the Games, then the Quell, then maybe some other things like the Mockingjay propos or something," she is looking at me worriedly. I nod and say, "Just don't let Ash watch, Honey. And I won't be coming in the watch with you, okay?"

"Okay. Where's Gale?" she asks. I sigh. "He's no longer allowed here, Ivy. He did something he shouldn't have done." Ivy understands as much as she can and walks back into the living room. Haymitch looks at me. "I'm going to go in there with her, Katniss. I don't think she should watch these terrible things all by herself." I smile. "Haymitch, you're a great man, you know that?" Peeta laughs and agrees. Haymitch rolls his eyes, but he can't hold back a smile and a wink as he walks into the living room, too.

Mother looks at me and smiles sadly. "I'm sorry about Gale. I really thought he was better than that. He used to be so understanding and now…" I shake my head and sigh as I say, "He's just changed, I guess. I don't know. But it's alright." I look at Peeta, smiling. "I've survived without Gale for so long. He wouldn't have been able to help me get through anything as you've been able to, Peeta. You know, I'd overheard you and Gale talking so many years ago when we were hiding in Tigriss's basement…He'd said that I'd choose the one I cant survive without…he was only half right…Because I also chose the one I cant bear to be separated from." Peeta smiles and he leans down to place a quick kiss on my lips. I look at Mother. She sighs and says, "I should probably go home…"

"No, Mom. I mean, why don't you stay the night at least?" I say. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you, too, Katniss." She says, and I give her a big hug.

Ash's voice reaches me now as he says, "Mommy, I'm sleepy." I sigh. Peeta says, "Sing him to sleep, Katniss. He likes that." I nod. Smile, and pick little Ash up, holding him like you would hold a baby. He giggles tiredly and says, "Sing, Mommy." Mother sits down in a chair beside the one that I sit down in, and Peeta stands over me. I start to sing the soft tune that I sang to Rue and have been singing to Ash whenever he can't sleep at night.

"_Deep in the meadow, under the willow. A bed of grass, a soft green pillow. Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes. And when again they open, the sun will rise."_

Ash closes his eyes and yawns, and I know Mother and Peeta are watching me with sad eyes.

"_Here it's safe, here it's warm. Here the daisies guard you from every harm. Here your dreams are sweet, and tomorrow brings them true. Here is the place where I love you._

_Deep in the meadow, hidden far away. A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray. Forget your woes and let your troubles lay. And when again it's morning, they'll wash away."_

I hear the TV in the living room pause and Ivy appears in the doorway, a curious look on her face, followed by Haymitch, who watches me with understanding eyes. I finish the song.

"_Here it's safe, here it's warm. Here the daisies guard you from every harm. Here your dreams are sweet, and tomorrow brings them true. Here is the place where I love you."_

Ash is just falling asleep, his eyes are half closed. He tiredly reaches up to touch my face and say, "Mommy…why are you crying, Mommy?" But he then falls asleep. I hold him close and that's when I notice it is the first time he's ever asked me that. And I notice that I am crying after all. I feel Haymitch's hand on my shoulder. Ivy says quietly, "Mommy, I'm sorry." I know she means it. I shake my head and whisper, "Honey, nothing that has every happened to me has ever been your fault. You weren't thought of at the time." Ivy nods and says, "Okay…but I'm kinda glad for it, 'because you met Daddy. I wouldn't be here if that hadn't happened." I notice that she has a point. I say quietly, "I just wish it hadn't had to happen like that. But I am really glad to have fallen in love with your father." I hear Ivy say, "I love you, Mommy." And she hurries back into the living room, followed by Haymitch, who gives me a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder before he follows her. Peeta helps me stand up and he says, "Here, let's take him up to his and Ivy's room." I nod, and Mother looks at me.

"Katniss…I just wanted you to know…" she begins. "…that I'm proud of you. I miss your sister and your father, but every time I look at you I know you have more to miss than I do. If I were to lose you, I'd be devastated. I'm sorry for not helping you take care of Prim after your father's death as much as I should have. I'm sorry I probably haven't been much of a mother these past several years or maybe even more. I want you to know that I'm expecting you to live a long, happy life, even long after I'm gone. I love you, Katniss." She smiles and walks into the living room to sit with Haymitch and Ivy. Peeta looks at me and smiles. I sigh, thinking about what my mother just said. The two of us carefully and quietly walk little Ash up to the room he shares with his sister, the room beside the one Peeta and I share. "Goodnight, Ash." I say as I carefully place my son in his toddler bed and cover him up with blankets. Peeta kisses Ash's forehead, then so do I. We tiptoe out of the room, turning the light off on the way out, and carefully, quietly, shut the door.

When we walk into the living room, hand in hand, Ivy quickly pauses the video. I notice she is now watching the Quell. I sigh and say, "Honey, it's okay; you can un-pause it." She shoots me an unsure glance but nods and pushes play. Peeta and I walk over to Haymitch, who stands up and walks with us to the kitchen.

"Is Ash asleep now?" Haymitch asks. I nod. Peeta nods as well. Then I say, "How is Ivy taking everything?"

"She's a bit startled at some parts, but I'd say that's normal. Once in a while, she's say something like, ;'Oh no, Mommy did that?' or get all worried about you two at parts such as when you almost ate those poisonous berries. Otherwise, fine." Haymitch looks at me after he has finished his response, and I say, "Good…" Apparently I look tired and exhausted because Haymitch says, "You two should go get some rest. Alright? Go on." He shoves me and Peeta toward the stairs then reenters the living room. The two of us retreat to our room, where I fall asleep in his arms as he strokes my hair.


	9. Nightmare and Guilt

_There are trees all around me. The air smells of fire and smoke and…blood? I can't see the sky; the air is too thick with smoke and the treetops cover any blue that may be even slightly visible anymore. I'm wearing pants that are muddy and torn, and I am wearing a green t-shirt and a torn jacket. I know where I am._

_The Games._

_I am back in the Games where I almost lost my life several times. Where I saw Rue die. Where I took care of Peeta, longing for him to live. Where my role as the Mockingjay of the rebellion began._

_No…I don't want to be here! I begin to run, but my legs give way to some unknown pain and I fall to the ground. Why? Why am I here? I need to leave! I try to get up, then I see someone standing over me. He has white hair and a smirk on his face and in his eyes. His eyes remind me of a snake's._

_President Snow._

"_No!" I scream. "No! You're dead! No!" but he laughs and grabs me by the neck. As his hand wraps around my throat, the stench of pure roses fills the air around me, making me gag. Then, behind Snow, I see others. Oh no…_

_There stands Finnick, his eyes vacant. He says, "You left me to be eaten by those mutations." I shake my head and fail at saying, "No." It comes out as a desperate gag. There stands Cinna, his eyes also vacant and tear-filled. He whispers, "Why, my Mockingjay? Why?" Tears now fill my eyes. But I see Wiress as well, who says, "You let them kill me, Katniss…Tick, tock, your time is up." And Boggs, who is exhausted looking as he says, "You shouldn't have come along with my squad. You should have stayed behind like you were wanted to." And Rue, little Rue, who whispers, "You were too late." Now I see Mags. She's watery eyed as she says, "You gave up." Then I see Prim. Oh, my baby sister, Prim. She says, "You let them get me, Katniss. You were too late." Now Madge comes into view. She whispers, "You let the Capitol bomb us. It's your fault." One dead friend after another, dead because of me, saying cruel things that fill me with guilt. Soon Snow's grip on my neck tightens and I feel myself fading. All those dead figures around me are chanting, "Die. Die. Die." _

_I know Gale is not dead, but for some reason I see him. He is saying, "Katniss, I'm sorry. Please, I want you to forgive me…"_

Wake Up!_ I keep screaming to myself. _This isn't real!_ But I don't wake up… But then I hear someone saying my name…_

"_Katniss!" they yell it over and over. "Katniss, wake up!" Then everything fades…_

I wake up, sweating, crying, struggling, and gasping for breath, with Peeta and Haymitch and Mother towering over me. My heart is racing. The terrible nightmare seemed to have lasted forever, and it had been forever since I'd experienced one that terrible. Peeta has me wrapped in his arms as Haymitch wipes a cold wash cloth across my hot, sweating forehead. Mother has her hand over her mouth and is trying, it seems, not to cry. She says, "Oh, God, Katniss…You were screaming…"

Peeta interrupts. "You were screaming 'No, you're dead.' And 'it's my fault' over and over. And you kept whimpering and crying and…" His voice trails off. Haymitch finishes for him. "You kept gagging like you had when you smelled any of Snow's roses…like you do any time you smell roses." I cough again and Peeta holds me close. "I couldn't wake you, so I go Haymitch, and your mother heard you and ran in here. The kids are still sleeping, thank goodness." Peeta says quietly. I sniffle. There is no longer the scent of roses or fire or smoke or blood. I breathe a sigh of relief and say, "It was…all a dream…" to no one except myself, as if to reassure myself and myself only. But, despite this, Haymitch responds. "Yes, it was only a dream."

"A nightmare…" I whisper, as if in a state of shock, or a trance. Peeta nods. Mother comes over to me and kisses my forehead. That is when I start asking questions.

"Haymitch…do you think the deaths of everyone I miss were because of me?" Haymitch looks taken aback, but my serious, hurt, and tear-filled expression tells him to answer, I guess, because he then says, "No. Of course not. Why would you think so?" Instead of answering him, I say, "Why did they have to die?" Haymitch now answers immediately. He says, "I don't know, sweetheart." I feel more tears trickling down on my cheeks, and Peeta holds me closer again, kissing my forehead. Mother holds my hand and says, "Nothing was your fault." But I shake my head. "They all died because of me…" I don't let anyone comment, because I go straight into my next question. "Would….would Cinna be proud of me?" Haymitch looks slightly taken aback by all these questions, but he nods and says, "Of course he would. He would have no reason not to be proud." I look at mother and manage to chock out the words, "Would dad be proud?" She gives me a worried, tired look and says, "I'm sure your father and your sister are both smiling right now. They'd probably tell you to stop crying then give you big hugs." She looks like she'll cry, but she smiles. I start remembering what Gale had said… _"I guess I won't be like the man from 'The Hanging Tree' after all, huh Katniss. I have my answer. Goodbye." _He'd had a very empty look in his eye, as if his life had been torn from him. He'd sounded so lost, so defeated…he'd looked so…so sorry…

I can't take it.

I tear myself from Peeta and say, "I…I think I should call Gale…" Peeta instantly takes my hand and debates. "But Katniss…You said so yourself, he isn't worth it anymore." I stare at him with tear-filled eyes once more, completely at a loss for words. Then, when I catch my breath, I say, almost inaudibly, "He's worth so much. We were best friends. He loved me. Yes, he pushed it, he should have been able to let it go by now, after 20 years, but…Even though I've been able to survive without him all these years, I cant survive happily when I know how hurt he is…he looked…so very sorry…regretful…" I turn from Peeta and Mother and Haymitch and say, "I cant do this anymore. I need to let go of my guilt and everything, but I cant do that without saying anything else to Gale. I just need to speak to him. That's…That's all." None of them stop me or follow me as I leave the bedroom, go down the steps, and enter the kitchen, and pick up the phone. I immediately dial Gale's cell phone number. No answer. It rings a few times but is sent to the voice mail. I dial again. Same. No answer. Damn!

I dial again. This time when there is no answer, I leave a message. "Gale," I say. "Please, Please, Please pick up. I need to talk to you. I…I'm sorry…Please, can't we just talk? I had another nightmare tonight, and woke up sweating and screaming…you were in it, asking to be forgiven. Please, I cant get rid of this guilt or this pain or anything unless you pick. Up. The. Phone. And. Talk. To. Me!" I knew I sounded desperate. But I was desperate. I waited 5 minutes and dialed again.

This time I got an answer.

This time Gale picked up the phone.


	10. Coming Home

Gale picked up the phone. I didn't wait for him to say hello. I only, immediately, say "Gale!" and he responds with a nervous sigh as he says, "Hello, Katniss." I suddenly became tiredly serious. "Gale, did you hear my message?" he said, "Yea." I stay silent for a few split moments before I say, "Then you know how I feel. Gale…" He starts to say, "But…" but I interrupt him.

"Gale," I say. "Just listen. Don't speak until I'm done. What you did was surprising and unwanted and wrong. You made me disappointed. Gale, I had a nightmare. It was probably triggered by long lost guilt, pain, and hurt. I can survive without you, yes, but I'm so tired of this animalistic instinct of _just___surviving. I want to _live_. Actually _live. _And to do that, I _need you._ I _need Peeta, _I _need Haymitch._ I need Ash, and Ivy, and Greasy Sae, and Mother. Yea, I lost Dad and Prim and Rue, Cinna, Finnick, and Boggs. And so many others. They died and I couldn't stop it. But I cant actually_ live_, knowing you are never going to come back. You're worth so much, Gale. We were…and should still be…best, best friends, we hunted together. We could still hunt. We laughed and made fun and hated the Capitol. We still can, Gale. I know you loved…love…me, but you know I don't feel that way for you. You know I am married and happy and have 2 kids, and I want it to stay that way. But I want you to be a part of my life, Gale. Like you used to be. I want us to just be friends again. Gale, I cant do any of this without you, I'm begging you. I'm giving you another chance, and I'm begging you to take it and help me to make things right. Please, Gale." I sounded desperate, I know. But I was desperate, yet again. My voice is breathy as I speak, and I am relieved when Gale sighs, because I thought, truly, that he would have put the phone down and not paid attention, maybe even have hung up.

Gale and I are both silent for some time. Then he finally speaks. "I'm sorry, Katniss…I understand…You had every right to be angry with—"

"I'm not angry, Gale. I'm disappointed, upset, and hoping you will come back."

"You…you want me to come back?" He sounds surprised, actually. I nod, though I am conscious of the fact that he cannot see me through the phone.

I'm glad he cant, actually; my hair is matted, my eyes are bloodshot and pink and puffy from tears, my cheeks are tearstained, and I'm pale.

I can almost feel the relief emitting from Gale through the phone. He says, "I…I'll come back…and I promise, we are just friends, I wont…do that again…never again." I smile. "Okay. Thank you, Gale…Peeta lives with me, so he doesn't use his old house in Victors' village anymore. Hasn't in a long while, actually. So you can live there." I'm just as relieved sounding as I feel, I guess, because I can feel him sigh happily, relived, and say, "I'm glad for you." Then he hangs up and I'm left there standing in the kitchen, alone, holding onto his last words to me. He's glad. He's coming back. He's coming home. He's my best friend.

I don't know how long I have stood here, thinking of how much I hope to see the real Gale, the old, strong, best friend Gale, come home to 12 for real, but Peeta's voice interrupts my thoughts after what seems like forever. I look towards him. He is standing in the kitchen doorway, a sad look in his eyes. "Katniss…is he—"

"He's coming back." I say. Tears fill my eyes, and a relieved smile crosses my lips. "Peeta. He's…he's coming home…the real him is coming home…" My threatening tears now spill from my eyes and I rush over to Peeta, who wraps me tenderly in his arms, as if to protect me. "I'm glad, Katniss."

"I love you, Peeta." I bury my face in his shoulder and his strong arms shield me from any harmful thoughts that could take away my happiness right now. "I love you, too, Katniss." He says. I sniffle and hold onto him. "I'm happy, Peeta…" He nods. "I know." He smiles. "Come on, let's go into the living room and sit down."

We do so, and I sit beside him on the couch, one mom would probably call a love seat. He lays on his side, propped up by his elbow. I snuggle down beside him. We fit perfectly on the couch, but still he wraps his arms around me and keeps me close so I don't fall off the edge. He looks at me and I smile. He repeats what he said only a few minutes earlier. "I love you." He says. I smile and nod. "I know." We are silent for a little bit, and it is peaceful. "Ash and/or Ivy may be up soon. Or Haymitch and/or your mother." He says finally. I shrug, smile, and give him a quick kiss. "I know." I say again. "But I just want to lay here and rest for a while." He nods and smiles. Then he holds my chin with his hands and tilts my face up to his, placing a kiss on my lips. I close my eyes and kiss him back. It seems like that time on the beach or that time in the cave. Not staged, but real. Real feeling, and real desire. I notice once again that even though I am definitely no longer a 16 or 17 year old teenager girl, I am no different looking that the one I had been. Nor, actually, do I feel different. Peeta looks at me and I bury my face in his chest, snuggling close to him. I think we fall asleep, or at least I do, because the next thing I know, Haymitch's voice says, "Wake up, you two." I open my eyes, glad that I had no nightmares this time. It is around, I don't know, like, 2 in the afternoon now. We were asleep for probably, I don't know, like, 4…5…hours. I lift my head up to look at Haymitch. He and Mother are standing over the couch. Somehow, in my sleep, Peeta had shifted me so I was comfortably lying on top of him, my head resting on his chest. I can feel his chest moving steadily up and down with every breath he takes. I say, tiredly, "Hi." Mom smiles; I guess she is happy to see me not crying from a nightmare like earlier.

Peeta wraps his arms back around me as he sits up, making me sit up, too, so I am halfway on his lap. We both look at Haymitch, now expecting an explanation for his disrupting our sleep. But Mother explains, instead. "Gale called. He says he's on his way. We told him you were sleeping with Peeta…"

"And by the way, at first he took that the wrong way." Haymitch interrupts. Mother gives him an irritated look and he holds up his hands innocently. "Anyway," Mother continues. "After we told him you two were _asleep, _he said to tell you he is truly sorry, he will never do it again, and he hopes to arrive soon."

"And when would soon be?" I ask. Mother shrugs. "Could be any time. He called about 2 hours ago." Peeta leans in closer to me, tiredly, and says, "He can stay at my old place." I nod and tell him, "Yea, that's what I told him."

"Well…" there is a knock on the door now. I'm almost certain I know who it is. I start to get up, but I hear Ivy's voice say, "I'll get it, Mommy!" Haymitch gives me a glance that says, _I already told her he was forgiven, mostly, and is coming. _I nod, grateful. Then I hear Ash's voice say, "I'll get it, Mommy!", mimicking Ivy's voice in a little toddler way. I silently laugh, and stay in Peeta's lap and arms on the couch. Now I hear Ivy say, "Gale! Hi!" and Ash giggles. I hear Gale's voice say, "Hi, guys. I already put my stuff in my new place, and…um…well, I came to visit again."

"Papa said you are gunna live in 12 with us, Gale!" Ash's voice says, though he mispronounces half of the words, such a saying _live _as _wiv _and _twelve _as _telve_ and _with _as _wif._ I hear Gale chuckle and say, "Yea, I am. Next door, actually."

"Yay!" Ivy and Ash both say. Now I hear 6 feet enter the room. Ash, Ivy, and Gale. I feel Gale's eyes on me, so I look up. He smiles nervously. I smile, relieved. "Hi, Gale." I say. He walks to me and holds out his hand, as if I'd shake his hand. I roll my eyes and pull myself from Peeta, who lets me go not reluctantly. I pull Gale into a hug and say, "I'm not shakin' your hand, Gale." I LAUGH. So does he.

I'm so happy to have my best friend back.


	11. No More Nightmares

_**Thanks a bunch to everyone who's stuck around for the story, reviewed, loved it, thank you. This was a lot of fun, I appreciate everyone's comments and stuff. This is the last and final chapter. **_

For the next few weeks, Gale came over regularly, mostly to help Ivy with her schoolwork since she was starting, now, the 4th grade. Ash was jealous and continuously asked if he, too, could start the 4th grade, but we laughed and told him he's too little.

Now I sit here, alone. Peeta is out at the bakery, Ash is over at Haymitch's, probably playing with the three little kittens. Buttercup, Prim's horrid old cat, had died a year back of old age, but he'd found himself a girlfriend before then and she'd had 5 kittens, 3 girls and two boys. Now there are only the 3 girls, and they are a few months old. They are adorable. Haymitch, who keeps them in his house, got rid of the two boys due to the fact that they had kept wanting to mark their territory whenever my kids went over there with toy cats. Pft.

Well, anyway, he'd given the two boys away to a family whose little girl knows Ash because of daycare when he was 2.

I sigh. Ivy is at school, and no one else is here. Now I hear a knock on the door, and I say, "Come in." Gale enters the room and smiles. "Hey, Catnip." He says. I wave, laying back down on the couch. "Hey, Gale." I am so glad that Gale and I have made up. It is as if, now, that we were never apart. He and I hunt all the time now, and often we get Ivy out of her last period class (A study hall) and take her hunting with us. Now is one of those times, I know. At this time, Ivy is probably switching classes into her study hall, which she only ever reads during because Gale tutors her in some subjects and I help her with some and so does Haymitch and so does Peeta. I smile, he nods.

We both grab our bows and arrows from the closet and our game bags and strap them on our backs after we slide on out hunting jackets. I slip on some boots and soon we are out the door, heading towards Haymitch's house. I knock on his door and he answers, Ash clinging to his leg giggling. I smile. "I'm off to go hunt." I say. He nods and says, "I'll let Peeta know when he comes home."

"Nah." I say. "I'll stop by the bakery, because I want to get some bread to eat out in the woods while we hunt. Maybe even to set traps. He nods, and now Gale and I are walking towards the bakery.

When we arrive, I walk in and go into the kitchen, Gale following. No one stops me. I mean, people aren't allowed in the kitchen unless they are a cook. Or if they are me or Gale or Haymitch or Ash or Ivy. Of course, people didn't stop me. They know who I am. I am the baker's wife. So I'm allowed, ha. I'm glad I don't have to wait at the counter, because there is a line.

We get into the kitchen and Gale stays in the doorway as I silently sneak up on my husband. His blond curls, recently cut so now more of waves than curls, are a bit powdered with flour. He wears a sort of apron. He is wiping his flour-powdered hands on his apron. I mean, usually you'd think a guy in an apron making cakes and bread and pasties would look like a sissy or a girl, but actually he looks stunning. His blue eyes glisten whenever he's working here, he enjoys this job, and he's always been great at it. He becomes very concentrated when he frosts cakes. His hair is out of his face and his smile brightens when he is frosting cakes and pastries.

I sneak up on him as he wipes his hands, and I say in a very soft tone, "Hey, Peeta." He jumps, and Gale and I need to hold ourselves back from laughter. But when Peeta looks at me, surprise in his eyes, I grin. "Katniss!" he laughs, pulling me into a hug. "Don't freak me out like that! "

"But it was funny." I say. "No!" he laughs. I grin. "You're laughing." He rolls his eyes and places a quick kiss on my lips. "So, Katniss, what brings you here?"

"Well, I'm going hunting with Gale and Ivy again, and we would like some of your delicious bread." I stress the word delicious and he grins. "Why, yes." He says in a mannerly way. He chuckles humorously as he takes a fresh, warm loaf of bread from the oven and wraps it in foil and puts it in a bag. "Here you go." He hands it to me. I smiles and give him a thank you kiss. Gale and I leave the bakery; getting smiles, waves, hellos, and good mornings from almost every person I pass.

When we get to Ivy's school, Gale waits outside like he usually does. I enter, still wearing my bow, arrows, and game bag on my back. I enter the school office and the secretary, Mrs. Ambers, smiles at me. "Hello, Mrs. Mellark." She says good-naturedly. I smile. "You can call me, Katniss, Mrs. Ambers." She just smiles. "Ivy is in study hall and Ash doesn't have to come to daycare on Tuesdays, only Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays." She says matter-of-factly. I nod and say, "Can you get Ivy out of study hall?"

She nods and clicks the button on the intercom and says into it, "Mr. Oberg, Ivy's Mellark's mother is here for her." I hear a man's voice say into his intercom form somewhere in the school, "Alright, she'll be right there with all her stuff." I sit down in one of the chairs and fix my braid that holds my hair back. After several minutes, I hear footsteps coming down the hall and I look up. Ivy, he hair pulled back in two braids, her eyes sparkling like her father's always do, wearing a red skirt and a black top and a black hoodie, wearing white tennis-shoes, carrying a blue backpack, is skipping excitedly down the hall. I notice she has her arrows on her back and her bow clutched in her other hand, and her game bag slung over her shoulder. She stops in front of me as I stand up and I smile. "Hey, baby." I say. She smiles as well and says, "Hi Mommy." I look at Mrs. Ambers and she nods. "You got to sign her out, Mrs. Mellark."

"I know." I say. I write down Ivy's name in one spot on the sign out sheet, then the time, then I cross out the other time space, then I sign my name on the line. "C'mon, Ivy" I take Ivy's hand and we walk outside, meeting up with Gale.

We three go to the woods, and Gale shows Ivy more trap setting strategies. I show her more of how to shoot an arrow. Gale shows her how to be perfectly still and silent. I show her some hunting skills, climbing skills, help her climb a tree as far as I have before, show her the differences between edible and poisonous plants. We always do this when we're out here, and she loves it. She always has fun with it. And now, when she sees me climb a tree or shoot an animal or locate edible plants, she looks as if she remembers watching me do just that in the Hunger Games video, and I know she is remembering. She never asks me about it, neither does anyone else.

Ash ages, he goes into kindergarten, 1st grade, 3rd, 4th, he watched that video. I let my kids into the attic, where they look through our stuff from long lost but not forgotten years of pain and sadness. Ash doesn't ask either.

Ivy, of course, also ages, going into 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th grade, 9th grade. In 9th she must write a nonfiction story, several pages long, on one or more of her family members.

She chooses me and Peeta. She would choose Haymitch, but she knows less about his past and isn't rude, as she says, so she wont 'interview' him. She writes of me. She writes of Peeta. She writes, with descriptive words and many pages, she has written of our roll in the Games, how we met, what we went through. She has written of what we go through now, that we still remember and are affected by our pasts. It turns into more of a book, and she decides to title it, "The Girl on Fire and the Boy with The Bread." It's a long title, but it catches a lot of people's attention. She reads an excerpt of it in class, since she cannot read the full thing. Her teacher collects it and reads the whole thing. He says he was moved by it, he loved it. He sends it in to be printed and published. Several weeks later, Ivy is presented with the first new copy. It was made into a book, with a cover that shows flames and the Mockingjay pin. I am proud of my daughter. Several hundred of her books are sold. It is amazing.

Ash follows Peeta, somewhat, and works in the bakery for a while, as a 4th grader.

Both of my children are successes. Peeta and I are happy. Haymitch is happy. Gale is happy. Greasy Sae and her daughter are happy. Even the 3 kittens, Sammy, Tiger, and Misty, are happy. Both my children are happy. Mother is happy, and she decides to move back to 12.

I can finally go to sleep at night without having nightmares.


	12. A short note to my readers

_Just a short author's note; I went back and reread my own fanfic, and was kind of upset; I found multiple errors, whether they be typos or simple forgetful mistakes; There were some grammar points that I was disappointed about and a few details from the books (Such as the 74__th__ hunger games; I typed the 75__th__. Or the present Ivy gets from Hazelle, a teddy bear; it says that "Happy 9__th__" is on it, but it should be "Happy 10__th__." I wish I could go back and fix all this stuff, all my grammar and silly mistakes, without having to redo the whole thing. I decided not to go back and redo anything since it would be too much of a hassle. I'm glad so many people have liked this story, though I actually did start a sequel, and had a couple chapters on here for a bit, but deleted the story because I just never got around to typing up and updating the chapters. Plus, I think it doesn't need a sequel. It would be interesting, but I'm happy with where I ended with this one. ^^ thanks to all my readers, and I hope people keep reading and reviewing and favoriting and such no matter how long it is since it's been made. _


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